Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Maybe Baby: One Womb Vacancy

I often wish I could paint. Because I have a portrait in my mind that I want the world to see. It's of a barren woman. Alone in a dry dessert land where the dirt beneath her is cracked from the thirst of water. Water is life to the dessert and without it nothing grows. This woman has her arms raise palms up to the heavens where her eyes also face. She has an expression of grief and surrender on her face. Tears drip down her face and puddle to the mud on the ground, if you look close, you see a green sprout of life though her tears.

I have been that woman in the dessert for years and now if I could paint my picture I would be in a lush forest. I have life all around me. And so for me these frozen babies is a picture of God's bounty in my life. I was hungry and ask for bread and He gave me a glorious feast.

So here is the deely-o with the transfer today. It didn't happen. Please excuse the lack of technical terms I just want to try to lay this out in plain ole second grade language. Out of the four remaining embryos two are frozen at the 3 day stage and 2 are frozen at the 5 day stage. They defrosted the two, 2 day embryo's and one stopped dividing all together and the other looked "if-y". Dr. said that he has seen a pregnancy from Mr. If-y and laid out two options for us. Option 1 go ahead with the transfer today and having a low chance of this baby implanting and then make a plan to do another frozen embryo transfer either in a few months or in a few years depending on weather or not I get pregnant this time.
Option 2, let If-y grow in the lab for a few days until If-y is as old as his brother and sister (let's call them Maybe and Why-not) Of course the downside to this option is the (very slight) possibility of triplets (gulp).

So Matt and I were very clear about what we should do. Completely on the same page. We went with Option 2. We are very happy that at the end of this month we will have a good idea of what our family is going to look like.

I was so very touched by all the of the sweet comments/prayers that you took time to write. We had some Cyber Church happening yesterday and I felt very loved. I also could not believe how many of you were willing to come to my home to give me my shots. I am again so grateful to have all of you in my life. Oh the other news you should know is that I am now scheduled for a transfer on Thursday.
Until then, My empty womb and I will sign off.




What I know for sure: We won't be having seven children.

10 comments:

DoubleVentiLatte said...

What an interesting turn of events! Its so wonderful to know that God has already gone before you and knows the outcome. I hope today has not been too hard on you! Praying for grace and peace for you and anxiously awaiting the rest of your story.

Tiffany said...

Wozers! IVF is full of surprises, twists and turns to put it mildly. I've got my fingers crossed for If-y, Maybe and Why-not to decide they are healthy enough to be transferred on Thursday. I take it this means a few more shots...so sorry about that one. I'd offer to give them but you've got offers from ladies much more experienced in that area than my practice shots on an orange!

Lindsay said...

Still praying for you Becca! Thanks for the update!

Stefanie said...

No matter what, our dessert and whole milk latte made that womb a whole bunch more livable.

I am saying a prayer for dessert loving nieces and nephews:)

Love YOU more than even that cheesecake girl!

Crystal said...

I'm loving these updates! Can't wait to hear how it goes.

Kim H. said...

I would have gone with option 2 as well... I'll be praying that all three embryos thrive and are implanted on Thursday.

February Jill said...

Becca, over here in Florence Dale, Candi, Shane, me, Jonathan and Hannah got in a circle and prayed for you yesterday morning. We'll keep it up!
Thanks for the upate, we'll continue to pray and hope. Love you,
Jill

Rachel said...

I wish you all the luck...

momaof4 said...

Oh, praying for you!!!! one, two, three!??!! :)

Love it.

Shauna said...

I'm praying for you today (it's Thursday, transfer day) Becca. Praying for those precious babies, praying for the doctors, praying for Matt, and praying for God's amazing will to be done in your family. Love you!