Saturday, July 19, 2008

Give It To Me Straight

Do you think Tobin could be the next Tiger Woods?

On the fence about it? How about looking at another swing.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Locked Out

Today I got locked out of our house. Now that in it's self is bad, but what made it worse is ...

a. I had all three kids with me. That morning I had dragged the twins to Bridgeport Plaza to show my mom this open air mall. They didn't nap so I was eager to get them into bed so I could survive the evening.

b. It was 96 degrees outside

c. I had to pee

I was sure that Matt would be home any minuet so I waited. and waited. AND waited. I kept the Twins in their car seats watching a movie with the air conditioning on. I was really feeling guilty about leaving the car running with gas prices costing more than a Starbucks per gallon. I decided that I would see how long I could turn off the car, roll down the windows and run the battery, (I had to keep the battery on so the movie would keep playing. I'm not a masochist.). As soon as I did, I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my face and I fought to not turn on the AC. I started thinking of Matt's best friend Coop who is serving in Afghanistan. His last email said that some days the temperature hits 120 degrees. AND lets not forget that he is wearing all his gear oh and he's getting shot at. So where was I? Oh yeah fighting my own war in the car. I think I lasted all of five minuets when I turned the key and started waisting gas again....remembering why I didn't join the military.

When I realized that Matt was not able to rush to my rescue, because he was arresting a suspect for strangling his wife, I decided to get productive. I really wished I could read my book that I am in the middle of, but alas it was locked inside the cool house along with the toilet and babies cribs. So Roscoe, my Jack Russell, and I had a talk. I tried to convince him that he could retrieve my book and bring it to me via the dogie door. (Don't laugh! I've heard of dogs that rescue babies from fires and smell cancer in their owners. My dog might be special too.) I went into a description of what the book looked like and were it was on the night stand. He looked at me amused. I then reminded him of the fifteen hundred dollars that I had just spent on him after he stupidly ran in front of a car chasing a squirrel a month ago (he actually caught one of the cute fluffy vermon the other day see photo below). Surely he could do this insey wencey task. That's when I heard the first dog laugh out loud ever.

So because I couldn't read, I cleaned the van. And after that I played Tetris on my phone. An hour later Matt came home and now all is well. Matt immediately had to leave to take Tobin to see WALL-E, they had a date. My training with Roscoe will continue, my next step is to teach him that what he kills needs to stay out of my house. I don't want to see anymore dead squirrels on our basement steps. But my discouragement is useless when Matt comes to Roscoes aid and demands that I take trophey pictures of Roscoes kill.


Really, really disgusting stuff....I know.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

The I-don't-need-the-stress-of-a-birthday-party Post

I had a vision for the twins' second birthday party before they were born. When I can't sleep at night, I plan parties. It's cheaper then sleeping drugs but just as addictive. If I were to have two boys I decided to do a train themed birthday. The invitations would have steam coming out of the smoke stack saying, "Two, Two". For two girls I was going to have a ballerina "two two" (tutu) party. Boy girl twins was a harder theme to come up with. I decided on Noah's Arc, two by two. But on account that I have no home and we were leaving on a vacation the next morning I decided that a big party with a theme was mommy suicide. Instead we had a lovely day at Enchanted Forest. This hilly silly park was just perfect for giving the twins a fun celebration in honor of them and us surviving for two years.
We all headed to Red Robin for dinner and complimentary ice cream sundaes.

Rest up little girl, two is going to be hard.