Saturday, July 12, 2008

Locked Out

Today I got locked out of our house. Now that in it's self is bad, but what made it worse is ...


a. I had all three kids with me. That morning I had dragged the twins to Bridgeport Plaza to show my mom this open air mall. They didn't nap so I was eager to get them into bed so I could survive the evening.


b. It was 96 degrees outside


c. I had to pee





I was sure that Matt would be home any minuet so I waited. and waited. AND waited. I kept the Twins in their car seats watching a movie with the air conditioning on. I was really feeling guilty about leaving the car running with gas prices costing more than a Starbucks per gallon. I decided that I would see how long I could turn off the car, roll down the windows and run the battery, (I had to keep the battery on so the movie would keep playing. I'm not a masochist.). As soon as I did, I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my face and I fought to not turn on the AC. I started thinking of Matt's best friend Coop who is serving in Afghanistan. His last email said that some days the temperature hits 120 degrees. AND lets not forget that he is wearing all his gear oh and he's getting shot at. So where was I? Oh yeah fighting my own war in the car. I think I lasted all of five minuets when I turned the key and started waisting gas again....remembering why I didn't join the military.





When I realized that Matt was not able to rush to my rescue, because he was arresting a suspect for strangling his wife, I decided to get productive. I really wished I could read my book that I am in the middle of, but alas it was locked inside the cool house along with the toilet and babies cribs. So Roscoe, my Jack Russell, and I had a talk. I tried to convince him that he could retrieve my book and bring it to me via the dogie door. (Don't laugh! I've heard of dogs that rescue babies from fires and smell cancer in their owners. My dog might be special too.) I went into a description of what the book looked like and were it was on the night stand. He looked at me amused. I then reminded him of the fifteen hundred dollars that I had just spent on him after he stupidly ran in front of a car chasing a squirrel a month ago (he actually caught one of the cute fluffy vermon the other day see photo below). Surely he could do this insey wencey task. That's when I heard the first dog laugh out loud ever.





So because I couldn't read, I cleaned the van. And after that I played Tetris on my phone. An hour later Matt came home and now all is well. Matt immediately had to leave to take Tobin to see WALL-E, they had a date. My training with Roscoe will continue, my next step is to teach him that what he kills needs to stay out of my house. I don't want to see anymore dead squirrels on our basement steps. But my discouragement is useless when Matt comes to Roscoes aid and demands that I take trophey pictures of Roscoes kill.


******WARNING DEAD ANIMAL PICTURES AHEAD*******








Really, really disgusting stuff....I know.

18 comments:

Melissa said...

Our husbands are so alike. : ) And if it makes you feel any better, I locked my keys in the car at Walmart a few weeks ago. Which I discovered AFTER I bought all of my groceries. I had to call my best friend's boyfriend as my hubby was rat hunting 6 hours away. But it took him an hour too because he had to drive across town to my house, get the car key, then come save us. Thank goodness for the small patch of grass behind Walmart that the boys and Kathryn played on, as our milk soured in the 88 degree heat. Oh, and of course, Zachary had to pick that one hour to have a MAJOR #2 diaper blow-out! But at least you got the van cleaned and had a good chat with the dog! : )

Kim H. said...

I am beside myself that he's actually touching it!! They look so cute, but I certainly wouldn't touch one! I'm so glad that my dogs are really domestic, and don't hunt anything... I don't think they'd be willing to help me out by getting my book either though... if you get that figured out - let me know... you might have a book deal or something if it works out.

momaof4 said...

Oh my!!!
How come the little guy still looks cute dead? That is pretty good for a dag to catch one, the heat must have gotten to the poor thing to slow it down.

I am sorry you were locked out! But the van is clean, your blader has now been tested and thank God for AC and DVD players!

Anonymous said...

Does everyone know that Matt's on SWAT? ~ HE HE

Rachel said...

You poor thing!! And I love that you tried to live without the air for awhile...sounds like something I would have tried to do!!
And it really is kind of gross that Matt was playing with a dead squirrel!! YUCK!

Molly said...

Did you really wait the hour to pee or did you do the diaper thing again? :)

Stefanie said...

That was a funny post - not funny at the time mind you...

Glad you survived it. That is so something that would have happened to me!

I had to replace my battery a couple months ago (which I guess shouldn't have happened for a few more years) - I think I abused the movie thing too many times. Oh, the decisions we weigh as mothers...

Tiffany said...

Awww, the little vermon looks like it is praying. PRAYING FOR IT'S LIVE AS THAT VICIOUS DOG COMES RUNNING AFTER IT!

February Jill said...

Sounds like quite the ordeal. At least you know if you got hungry Roscoe could have hunted dinner for you and you could have grilled it on the hot car engine, or the sidewalk!

How is the house coming? I have been looking out for updates here. By the way, we are moving.

mbrassfield said...

My mom had a problem with her dogs catching the squirrels and other small animals on her property. She put a bell on the dog's collar (kinda like you do with cats) so that they would hear it coming and get away, it has worked really well for her. You should try it on your little guy....

Jen said...

Okay..

So Roscoe is actually smiling in the picture with the squirrel. I'm dying laughing. I showed Jeremy and he about dyed laughing too. Funny thing is...you can't tell in the pics that the squirrel is dead...they almost look like friends.

Funny story!! Love it. Jen Green

Angela said...

Matt really does belong out here n the farm!

Stefanie said...

You'll have to go back and read my latest - I think #11 comment! How funny - a first time commentor.

I thoroughly enjoyed that comment of yours by the way!

Stacey said...

Alex teases me about getting a mom van at some point....after your story I'm thinking it's not such a bad thing if I lose out on my sworn commitment not to drive one.

karrie said...

All I have to say is we have deer in our neighborhood that bailey (our black lab) chases down. If she ever brings back a fawn, I'll die!! and then call you!

Karrie

Megan said...

Jerry told me I just HAD to read your blog solely for this posting! He thinks your dog is way cooler than ours. I have enjoyed getting to know your family through your blog. You have super darling children.

alice said...

I don't know you, but I saw your comment on Patsy Clairmont's blog and thought it was perfect so I decided to visit your blog. Your children are beautiful. The picture of your daughter with the ice cream on her face is priceless. I enjoyed your site.

Sharon said...

The squirrel looks so contented and happy. He must have really enjoyed his time with Rosco right up until that very last moment. Good dog.