Friday, December 07, 2007

Bending Over Backwards

Even thought I was quite proud of myself giving Val my diagnosis of little Makayla, I still do lack the "text book" knowledge most people have come to rely on for an accurate diagnosis. But I was hoping that my blog readers might help me out with an aliment. My lower back hurts, and I don't know why. I am in agony and would love to know what I did so as not to repeat this ache. My day was typical, nothing out of the ordinary. It started at six with my accountable friend Michelle at my door in her cute workout attire and me in mine (flannel pajamas). Quietly down to the basement we sleepily trot and put in our Jillian Michaels DVD. 30 minuets later and a light glistening of sweat she leaves for work and I try to close my eyes of a few minuets before my alarm clock (ahem Tobin) wakes me up. A few minuets later my eyes jolted awake with Tobin SLAMMING his bedroom door thus ceremonially welcoming the day and shockingly waking up his next door brother and sister. After fixing Tobin's breakfast I went up stairs to gather up the babies. I start by changing Jabe then putting him in Phoebes crib. Then I change Phoebe and while balancing her on my right hip I use my left hand to pick Jabe up and place him on my subsequent and only other hip. We walk down the stairs with both babies chanting loudly "dog, dog. Woof, Woof.) We greet Rosco. I set Phoebe in her highchair and Jabe in his. The next hour is a blur of cheerios, bananas, socks, show in tell, lunchboxes, and that missing shoe hunt. I look in the mirror to see how bad the damage is. I put a comb though my hair and lick my finger to rub yesterdays mascara from under my eyes. I say a little prayer that no ex-boyfriend or model scouts will I encounter this morning. Amen. I find Jabe and Phoebs matching hats and wipe down the red wagon from the morning due. Get Jabe buckled in, then back in the house for Phoebe. Re-find her hat and re-put it on her head. Yell to Tobin not to play in the dirt before school. Fasten Phoebs and pull the wagon to church. Wave to the church receptionist and smile making motherhood look cute and easy. Kiss Tobin goodbye. Leave church and answer a few questions from a little old lady coming into Bible study, "are they twins?"

"Yes they are."

"Two boys?" she says confidently.

"No, the one in the pink hat is a girl" I say with a smile.

Roll back home. Unload said babies back to warm house. I change clothes, and apply a little makeup. Dress babies keeping in mind the weather, the two pairs of shoes that fit them and as a bonus to the world I love it when they coordinate. Dress Jabe with one hand while restraining him with the other. Dress Phoebe with the other while tickling her with the other. *Sniff* Jabe's pooped and even though I really want to get these babies in the car soon. I decide to change his diaper. (I know, mother of the year award coming any day.) I haven't figured out how to carry both out to the van at the same time and hold one while buckling the other in so I do this one at a time. Baby A gets carried out to the car while baby B crys wondering if today is the day I forget about him. But I remember and come right back for the bewildered child. I head straight for the nearest drive though Starbucks. I happily hand over my gift card from a glorious friend and sip my single grande extra caramel, caramel macchiato. I arrive at my destination and load up the babies into the stroller and navigate my way though the store aisles avoiding the breakable treasure and with my list in one hand, my macchiato in the other I use my imaginary third hand to fend off four hands grabbing at anything not nailed down. We went though an entry sleeve of whole wheat Ritzs Crackers and two bottles of apple juice that was picked up off the store floor at least four times. And by the time it was time to go get Tobin......I had only crossed off a few stocking suffers and ONE person off my list. Hardly worth it.

OK this is getting long and it's only noon. So lets speed it up.

Unload babies, bags, and garbage from van.

Wipe down red wagon again due to rain not due.

Reload babies into wagon.

Pick up Tobin from school. Tell him over and over how much I like his drawing and ask him over and over how school was only to get a, "fine."

Shlub babies back into house.

Load them in highchairs

Fish sticks in the toaster oven.

Slice up cheese.

Open a can of cooked carrots.

Warm milk.

Tear up bite size pieces of bread.

Wipe up babies hands, face and pick out pieces of carrots from baby hair.

Realize that the baby wipes are not cutting it and fill up the tub. Set up towels, toys, shampoo, lotion, extra diapers, and clean Jammie's.

Put a video for Tobin. Answer questions about when dad is coming home and what day it is and if Christmas is tomorrow.

Undress babies and carry both of them upstairs.

To their delight they splash and giggle for a few minuets. I take the golden opportunity to pee.

I use one hand to remind baby A to stay seated in the tub while I use the other to wash hair and rinse baby B. So on and so forth. I drain tub and get baby A lotioned and diapered. Then baby B gets the message.

Pick up the both of them and get them into cribs, find blankets and respective favorite stuffed animals and shut the door to see what Mr. Tobin has been occupying his time with.

He's started an art project which includes (but not limited too) glue, markers, glitter, and scissors. WE clean up. We go though the nap routine: pee, pull ups, story time, cuddles, threats that if he gets out of bed he will regret the day he ever interrupted his tried momma during nap time. You know sweet talk like that.



Take out the garbage

Remember I haven't eaten and decide on a lunch of a bagel and a bowl of ice cream.

And just as I sit down and start to notice the back ache, nap time is over. Tobin comes downstairs asking for a snack and I know that the twins will follow soon.

Upstairs I go light on the way up and arms full of babies coming down.

Then dinner prep, and I made my bed. I picked up all the toys that somehow have a label on them that say, "throw me". I pick up these toys fifty times a day so that I don't find they've become a chewed up dog toy.

Matt came home to a picked-up house, and a smile on my face. I knew our time was short because tonight is a well deserved guys night. He had a look of sorrow in his eyes for me as Jabe was clinging to me crying. And Tobin upset because he didn't want peanut butter and jelly he wanted peanut butter and honey. Ya know the travesties of life.

I am so glad Matt got out because I certainly have had lots of fun this last weekend and I have plans for tomorrow too. But boy my back hurts. What could it be??????


Alida said...

Girl, I'm surprised you back didn't give out while shopping. It could be any one of those things, but probably all of them put together over time. Get thee to a doctor for mega painkillers and get some rest. You probably have swollen muscles telling you to stop.(I know we are mom, we can't stop.)

Now, is it just your lower back or is it a shooting pain down either leg to the knee or toes?

Either way get it diagnosed and I would suggest (to all mom) see an acupuncturist. I love, love, love them! (You may not need the painkillers)

LizzyG said...

I'm sorry, I can't help you out with the diagnosis, but boy can I relate. I have lived with chronic back pain for the last 15 years :(
And the only advice I can give is go to the Body Shop in the mall and buy the "massage body oil". You can even pick out a scent to be added if you like. Proceed to house, place oil in husband's hands, demand a 20 minute back rub, and go to sleep for a long, long time.

mcmom said...

OH MY GOSH!!!! Just read your post a few times and you will have the answer to why your back hurts.

Meghan said...

I so enjoy your stories Becca! I can't help with a diagnosis either, but I would recommend the Therma Care heat can wear them under your clothes for 8 hours, I bet it would help you back, a lot!

Mrs. Ranch said...

Back pain is SO weird! I agree with the heat and rest though. Any one of the activities you did could've done something. Don't forget that pain is the body's way of saying REST. Even if it means the house is a disaster.

Oh, and you frequently make mothering look cute and easy! You're a super mom.

Sharon said...

This was so hilarious to read....probably almost as hilarious as it was to actually live it, eh? Gee....I wonder why your back hurts? I guess you'll never know.

Ona said...

Holy Moly...what a day!!!

Jennyth said...

My back hurts just from reading this.

The best thing for back pain? Walking. Brisk walking. At least that's what my physical therapist told me. Of course with all of your extra time...I'm sure it'll be easy to pull off. :)

Angela said...

Sorry your back hurts but I must say this is very funny!

Tiffany said...

It's called Mommaneedsanotherweekendaway syndrome! A very serious diagnosis. How you make it through the day with three baffles me. I often feel that my one is gonna kill me off! My fav part of your story...the golden opportunity to pee!

momaof4 said...

Oh dear.
After the twins my back hurt like non other. I was is bed, and praying please Lord, don't make me have to pee!! Cause getting out was the worst.

The Doctor asked me a few questions and then listened. Then said to not lift so much!!!! Use my knees. Have the kids crawl up into their own car on, and on.

Right. Like I didn't know all that.

Lots of rest girl. Pain meds. and then be super careful. Work those back muscels (sp?) when Michelle comes over ;)

momaof4 said...

Oh, and remember this time will go fast! So enjoy it

Tee Hee!!

Julie said...

I know EXACTLY what is wrong!

You're already taking a step in the right direction... because Carmel Machiato's are the only thing that helps this condition you have!

No, seriously... as your friend, can I just say "DUH"!!! Your poor back is tired, girl!! But what can you do? How can you resist holding those precious babes :)

Hope it gets better... love ya.

Amy said...

Whew! That made me tired just reading it! I find that kisses from my daughter cure alot of whatever ails me (and the Starbucks!)

Rachel said...

I'd like to post something on this blog...but I'm so tired after reading about ONE DAY in the life of Glory, that I have to go take a nap....

Jenny vick said...

Every once in a while my back does the same thing...and it's usually a day when I'm rushing around and handing out lots of time-outs :) usually meaning that I'm not being carefull how I pick stuff up. Bending from the waist to grab that child for the umpteenth grab the groceries to tie my shoes..bla bla bla...Use your legs to pick things up! Do squats instead of will be good for your butt and your back :) So that is good...Acupuncture was good for Dj's back...but doing sit ups is really good for your back because your stomach muscles support your spine! Be Offensive...Don't bend over and do sit-ups! That's my two sense. I sure hope you feel better...I know that the littlest things can sure put a day in a crumple!! to scold my kids for chatting instead of napping! Hana can barely breathe she is so wheeezy and somehow she has enough energy to be naughty...never ceases to amaze me!

Stefanie said...

Well, your back didn't hurt when we shopped til we dropped last weekend - so I am thinking that this is just further proof that Matt was right, a nanny is the answer. Hope the tour went well today and sorry I was a lazy hostess last night.

Rachel said...

If you're leery of pain meds (as I am because I have a rambunctious boy to take care of) try this. Lie down on your stomach and stretch out. Then rest of your elbows, elevating your upper body. If your elbows get tired, put a pillow under your chest. This isn't comfortable at first and seems counterintuitive, but a doctor of physical therapy and family friend says this is the best cure for a sore lower back. Do it for about half an hour. Trust me, it works.

Joshua & Valerie said...

After reading about your day, I'm going to need a nap.

I did, however, notice that during your many physical movements of your day, you did engage your lower fleporious memfin quite a bit. It may just be a classic case of leronic somungitis.

Better take it easy! ;)

Joshua & Valerie said...

P.S. In all honesty, I injured my back about 10 years ago and used to get chronic acute back pain. It was, at times, debilitating.

I hope that it's just a strained muscle and that you will be able to heal quickly. (Try to get Matt to carry the children when he's around??) Man, carrying around those twins daily has GOT to do a number on your back and there are really few ways around that!

Do keep us updated :)

Lindsay said...

Hey, did you change you name to glory? Cause I knew you years ago as Becca Laine Malsey....

Found your blog thru Tiffany' husband went to school with her in Grants Pass. anyway, your kids are beautiful, I'll have to keep checking back!


LizzyG said...

Hi Lindsay,
I just read what you wrote here for Becca, and clicked on your blog. I instantly recognized your face - you haven't changed a bit. I went to junior high with you at Salem Academy and my husband, Jon went to high school with you at McKay...small world! Just thought I'd say hello!

Christi said...

Now look what you've done...completely changed my afternoon plans. I WAS going to do laundry and dishes, but then I got stuck reading page after page of your blog...but what fun. I'm so glad that you left a message and now I can get a little glimpse into your life these days - a life I really admire. Can't wait to read more, but the mom duties call.

Team Johnston said...

I'm going to say that you hurt your back while picking up the twins. I did that once when I picked up both Allyson & Thomas and carried them upstairs, and boy did my back kill me for about two weeks. The doctor said that I lifted them incorrectly and twisted a muscle in my lower back. The thermacare back wraps did help during the day as well as painkillers. Take it easy! :)
~Danielle :)

Stacey said...

I did notice that you only peed once in your story. Perhaps your bladder/kidneys are the larger concern! ;-) What a mama!