Bending Over Backwards

Even thought I was quite proud of myself giving Val my diagnosis of little Makayla, I still do lack the "text book" knowledge most people have come to rely on for an accurate diagnosis. But I was hoping that my blog readers might help me out with an aliment. My lower back hurts, and I don't know why. I am in agony and would love to know what I did so as not to repeat this ache. My day was typical, nothing out of the ordinary. It started at six with my accountable friend Michelle at my door in her cute workout attire and me in mine (flannel pajamas). Quietly down to the basement we sleepily trot and put in our Jillian Michaels DVD. 30 minuets later and a light glistening of sweat she leaves for work and I try to close my eyes of a few minuets before my alarm clock (ahem Tobin) wakes me up. A few minuets later my eyes jolted awake with Tobin SLAMMING his bedroom door thus ceremonially welcoming the day and shockingly waking up his next door brother and sister. After fixing Tobin's breakfast I went up stairs to gather up the babies. I start by changing Jabe then putting him in Phoebes crib. Then I change Phoebe and while balancing her on my right hip I use my left hand to pick Jabe up and place him on my subsequent and only other hip. We walk down the stairs with both babies chanting loudly "dog, dog. Woof, Woof.) We greet Rosco. I set Phoebe in her highchair and Jabe in his. The next hour is a blur of cheerios, bananas, socks, show in tell, lunchboxes, and that missing shoe hunt. I look in the mirror to see how bad the damage is. I put a comb though my hair and lick my finger to rub yesterdays mascara from under my eyes. I say a little prayer that no ex-boyfriend or model scouts will I encounter this morning. Amen. I find Jabe and Phoebs matching hats and wipe down the red wagon from the morning due. Get Jabe buckled in, then back in the house for Phoebe. Re-find her hat and re-put it on her head. Yell to Tobin not to play in the dirt before school. Fasten Phoebs and pull the wagon to church. Wave to the church receptionist and smile making motherhood look cute and easy. Kiss Tobin goodbye. Leave church and answer a few questions from a little old lady coming into Bible study, "are they twins?"

"Yes they are."

"Two boys?" she says confidently.

"No, the one in the pink hat is a girl" I say with a smile.

Roll back home. Unload said babies back to warm house. I change clothes, and apply a little makeup. Dress babies keeping in mind the weather, the two pairs of shoes that fit them and as a bonus to the world I love it when they coordinate. Dress Jabe with one hand while restraining him with the other. Dress Phoebe with the other while tickling her with the other. *Sniff* Jabe's pooped and even though I really want to get these babies in the car soon. I decide to change his diaper. (I know, mother of the year award coming any day.) I haven't figured out how to carry both out to the van at the same time and hold one while buckling the other in so I do this one at a time. Baby A gets carried out to the car while baby B crys wondering if today is the day I forget about him. But I remember and come right back for the bewildered child. I head straight for the nearest drive though Starbucks. I happily hand over my gift card from a glorious friend and sip my single grande extra caramel, caramel macchiato. I arrive at my destination and load up the babies into the stroller and navigate my way though the store aisles avoiding the breakable treasure and with my list in one hand, my macchiato in the other I use my imaginary third hand to fend off four hands grabbing at anything not nailed down. We went though an entry sleeve of whole wheat Ritzs Crackers and two bottles of apple juice that was picked up off the store floor at least four times. And by the time it was time to go get Tobin......I had only crossed off a few stocking suffers and ONE person off my list. Hardly worth it.

OK this is getting long and it's only noon. So lets speed it up.

Unload babies, bags, and garbage from van.

Wipe down red wagon again due to rain not due.

Reload babies into wagon.

Pick up Tobin from school. Tell him over and over how much I like his drawing and ask him over and over how school was only to get a, "fine."

Shlub babies back into house.

Load them in highchairs

Fish sticks in the toaster oven.

Slice up cheese.

Open a can of cooked carrots.

Warm milk.

Tear up bite size pieces of bread.

Wipe up babies hands, face and pick out pieces of carrots from baby hair.

Realize that the baby wipes are not cutting it and fill up the tub. Set up towels, toys, shampoo, lotion, extra diapers, and clean Jammie's.

Put a video for Tobin. Answer questions about when dad is coming home and what day it is and if Christmas is tomorrow.

Undress babies and carry both of them upstairs.

To their delight they splash and giggle for a few minuets. I take the golden opportunity to pee.

I use one hand to remind baby A to stay seated in the tub while I use the other to wash hair and rinse baby B. So on and so forth. I drain tub and get baby A lotioned and diapered. Then baby B gets the message.

Pick up the both of them and get them into cribs, find blankets and respective favorite stuffed animals and shut the door to see what Mr. Tobin has been occupying his time with.

He's started an art project which includes (but not limited too) glue, markers, glitter, and scissors. WE clean up. We go though the nap routine: pee, pull ups, story time, cuddles, threats that if he gets out of bed he will regret the day he ever interrupted his tried momma during nap time. You know sweet talk like that.

Dishes

Laundry

Take out the garbage

Remember I haven't eaten and decide on a lunch of a bagel and a bowl of ice cream.

And just as I sit down and start to notice the back ache, nap time is over. Tobin comes downstairs asking for a snack and I know that the twins will follow soon.

Upstairs I go light on the way up and arms full of babies coming down.

Then dinner prep, and I made my bed. I picked up all the toys that somehow have a label on them that say, "throw me". I pick up these toys fifty times a day so that I don't find they've become a chewed up dog toy.

Matt came home to a picked-up house, and a smile on my face. I knew our time was short because tonight is a well deserved guys night. He had a look of sorrow in his eyes for me as Jabe was clinging to me crying. And Tobin upset because he didn't want peanut butter and jelly he wanted peanut butter and honey. Ya know the travesties of life.

I am so glad Matt got out because I certainly have had lots of fun this last weekend and I have plans for tomorrow too. But boy my back hurts. What could it be??????