Maybe Baby: Conclusion

The test results came back negative. I am going through a range of emotions. I can easily rationalize the good in only having three children. They are so much work. So much money. They need lots of time and devotion. We are three against two and that can feel very overwhelming at times. But ....... BUT in my heart I was already in love with those embryo's. I was easily able to put a happy spin on adding a fourth child to the family.

Some of my grief today includes:

Feeling a baby kick and roll inside of you has got to be one of the most incredible sensations in the world.

Naming a person is one of the greatest privileges we get as parents. We had names: Elisabeth Kate (Betsy) for another daughter and Gibson for a son.

The satisfaction you get when you see a baby grow everyday and know that you are the one giving them the nutrition to thrive.

That first smile. Man, that is a high.

I am so glad that I opened up this very private part of my life. I am so thankful for all the emotions that you invested into this process. Infertility has taught me a huge lesson in control. I have very little. I am so thankful that I serve a God that is not only in control of my life but has my very best interest at heart. I am forever grateful for my Tobin, Jabe, and sweet Phoebe.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” Psalms 143:8

While We Wait

Things that can happen when your twin sister is bossy.

PS I'm waiting till Monday to test. See you then.

Maybe Baby: Public Opinion Poll

I have the pregnancy test scheduled for Monday morning and then have to wait until late afternoon for results. Does anyone else feel like Monday is too long to wait for possibly life changing news?

I am one who likes to find out the sex of my babies at 20 weeks instead of 40. I like clear drinking glasses so I know if I am having milk or juice before I drink. I like to know when company is coming over instead of the "we thought we just drop by" clueless folks. But on the flip side I am a rule follower. And I hate reading the back of books because they give too much away. I like going to the movies without knowing a thing about the film. And grab bags at dime stores were always too tempting for me not to buy.

So what is your opinion? My "Post Frozen Embryo Transfer" rules sheet said not to take a home test. My guess is that it can say negative and you still could be pregnant or it could be positive only to get your hopes up and then to find out with the blood test that you are fated to miscarry soon.

I am also unsure about who I want to hear the news from. I think that I would be fine either way. Pregnant or not. But what if I fall apart on the phone with the nurse? I'm not sure what to do. I suppose I could set up a webcam in my bathroom and we could all take the test together. Would you like that? *crickets*

Please cast your vote if I should test early or not to the comment section.

Five Down

Today we celebrated the last day of Tobin being five. Something magic happens around midnight and he will be six. He is excited to start using two hands to show by fingers how old he is.

Last year when Tobin and I were planning his fifth birthday party, Tobin told me he wanted a surprise party. Then he told me what a surprise party was and that he wasn't going to talk about his birthday anymore because he wanted me to SURPRISE him. I agreed.

It was a challenge but I managed to pull off this doozey of a surprise and he was shocked. Overwhelmed might be the better word. This is him as everyone yelled "surprise!"

Then it quickly turned to this..... a bit of shock.
He warmed right up and we had a great night.
A few weeks after his birthday, Tobin confessed that he never wanted a surprise party again. The five year old surprise party had one big fall back that I didn't see coming, for small kids it's not really about the party; it's about dreaming of the party. The anticipation that it's only months,weeks then days away. It's about wondering what kind of gifts you'll get, who to invite, the attention that will be lavished on you for a whole day.

The surprise party came and went in a few hours and that just wasn't long enough for a five year old.

Now he is phobic when ever we go somewhere and he see's balloons or he doesn't know who's house were at, He says, "Mom, don't tell me. It's my birthday and THIS is my party." I've damaged the boy obviously.

Here's some pictures of Tobin being five.

He's still my pickiest eater. Lives on peanut butter and apple sauce.

Exploring one of the creeks in the backyard.


Meeting neighbor kids and sledding.

First team sport.
Dream trip to Disney with just him and us.

Sea World!

Saying goodbye to pre-school and good buddies.








Here's to six!

Maybe Baby: Restrictions

As we were leaving the doctors office on Friday, the nurse handed me "Patient Instructions: Post-FROZEN Embryo Transfer"

There is a long list of can't do's including this lengthy sentence:

"After the transfer, you can go home, but you should spend the rest of the day quietly resting. The following day, you may resume normal daily activity EXCEPT: Lifting, jogging, diving, aerobics, waterskiing, horseback riding, or any activity with impact landing or jarring motion. "

...... Well there goes my Monday.

Maybe Baby: Make It a Triple

Today was a happy day for me. Today I said good bye to infertility. Of course infertility will always be a large part of my story, it is no longer part of my future, and that makes me happy. No matter the outcome of the transfer, I don't EVER have to deal with the ache of wanting another baby and having to fight with my body to make it happen.

That being said, I know all of you Maybe Baby followers are anxious to hear about the transfer that kept being postponed.

If-y (AKA: Slow-Poke) did grow another cell or two yesterday, but still never caught up with Maybe or Why-Not. Maybe and Why-Not were brought to room temperature. When I inquired about how they were doing, the embryologist told me they looked good but they don't hold them out to watch like they do the younger embryos. So all she could tell me was they survived the thawing process. I asked the doctor if we added Slow-Poke to the mix if he would do any harm. She said no. So Slow-Poke, Maybe and Why-Not were all placed inside my womb with a long skinny catheter. It was very romantic. Right before the embryologist loaded the catheter, she told me that Why-Not was already dividing. She said that was a good sign. Our Dr. said that theoretically triplets are a possibility but extremely unlikely. He even added that twins were also extremely unlikely. So take a deep breath America I am still on schedule for not having a reality TV show.

We make beautiful babies together.

While waiting for the transfer, I told Matt that the ultra sound prob looked like a micro phone. He dared me to try it out.

Never dare me!

Pregnancy test date is August 31.

Maybe Baby: Slow Poke

I've re-named If-y, "Slow Poke". I got a call early this morning that Slow Poke was still growing but at the rate of molasses on a winter's day. Slow Poke still isn't the size of his other frozen siblings ("Maybe" and "Why-not") and in this case size does matter. So we decided to give Slow Poke a little more time to see if he would catch up. I for one always root for the underdog. So I have a new transfer time for tomorrow at 11:30am. The best part about Slow Poke is because we had to wait a day, Matt now gets to be with me when I get pregnant (what a concept, he's especially pleased....).

So please all cheer on Slow Poke! I don't know why but I think I may have passed on the "slow" gene to him so it's not his fault.

Sorry for the late up date. I just got back from six hours in the car driving to pick Matt up from Camp Rilea and I am so glad he is home!

Maybe Baby: One Womb Vacancy

I often wish I could paint. Because I have a portrait in my mind that I want the world to see. It's of a barren woman. Alone in a dry dessert land where the dirt beneath her is cracked from the thirst of water. Water is life to the dessert and without it nothing grows. This woman has her arms raise palms up to the heavens where her eyes also face. She has an expression of grief and surrender on her face. Tears drip down her face and puddle to the mud on the ground, if you look close, you see a green sprout of life though her tears.

I have been that woman in the dessert for years and now if I could paint my picture I would be in a lush forest. I have life all around me. And so for me these frozen babies is a picture of God's bounty in my life. I was hungry and ask for bread and He gave me a glorious feast.

So here is the deely-o with the transfer today. It didn't happen. Please excuse the lack of technical terms I just want to try to lay this out in plain ole second grade language. Out of the four remaining embryos two are frozen at the 3 day stage and 2 are frozen at the 5 day stage. They defrosted the two, 2 day embryo's and one stopped dividing all together and the other looked "if-y". Dr. said that he has seen a pregnancy from Mr. If-y and laid out two options for us. Option 1 go ahead with the transfer today and having a low chance of this baby implanting and then make a plan to do another frozen embryo transfer either in a few months or in a few years depending on weather or not I get pregnant this time.
Option 2, let If-y grow in the lab for a few days until If-y is as old as his brother and sister (let's call them Maybe and Why-not) Of course the downside to this option is the (very slight) possibility of triplets (gulp).

So Matt and I were very clear about what we should do. Completely on the same page. We went with Option 2. We are very happy that at the end of this month we will have a good idea of what our family is going to look like.

I was so very touched by all the of the sweet comments/prayers that you took time to write. We had some Cyber Church happening yesterday and I felt very loved. I also could not believe how many of you were willing to come to my home to give me my shots. I am again so grateful to have all of you in my life. Oh the other news you should know is that I am now scheduled for a transfer on Thursday.
Until then, My empty womb and I will sign off.




What I know for sure: We won't be having seven children.

Calling Two or More

I've received a trusted go ahead from Becca to "high-jack" her blog tonight. You don't even need to know me, because this isn't about me. It's about our friend, sister, neighbor, daughter, wife, mother and fellow believer that we find in Becca.

We all know that she will embark on a new leg of this journey in motherhood tomorrow morning with the transerring of more of her and Matt's embryos. And although she is going into this moment with a mighty faith and sure confidence in whatever the outcome - - I believe with all my heart that it warrants prayer.

Not one prayer, but many voices lifted high with our blog hands layed firmly on her shoulder. I believe that where two are more are gathered, God honors our collaborative effort. And I believe in the divine and powerful touch of hands layed upon a fellow sister or brother in Christ.

I know that before her very first transfer - the one that gave Matt and Becca the blessing of Tobin, their pastor and elder team came to their house the night before and laid hands on them. They prayed mightily for a long time and Becca told me that she cried "hot tears" and felt the Holy Spirit's presence consume the room and her heart.

Today, God has given us a new outlet of communication and why shouldn't we use it for prayer?! Please envision yourself praying over Becca AND Matt as you leave your comment tonight or in the days to come. My friend says that prayers can be retroactive too, so even if you read this in a week to come - still pray through her comment section. I know that God will honor our voices lifted and that Matt and Becca will be blessed.

Maybe Baby: Love Thy Neighbor

Let's have a contest! First person to comment on this post gets to give me my progesterone shot, each night for a week, in my rear.

*crickets*

Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?

So Matt's work is sending him away for a week. A very important week. This week. The week of the transfer. Although it sucks that he will not be there when I might become pregnant, my mother and mother-in-law are filling in. You read it right, I might get pregnant with my moms. You read it here first.

The real issue is this. I have never given myself the progesterone shot. It's the big one. The one that goes in my cheeks and not the ones that my grandma used to pinch, the ones my *Uncle Pervis used to pinch. I've been worrying about this for a week now and have come up with a few back up options.

Option A: Find a non-needle phobic friend to give me my shot. The problem is I don't want to have to load the kids up each night to go pull my pants down in someone else's living room. Call me crazy just not my thang.

Option B: Ask my neighbor. She's a pharmacist and nice and well besides borrowing sugar isn't that what neighbors are for?

Hello? Is this thing on?

Option C: Buck up and do it myself. The IVF nursing told me I could give the shot in my thigh so I really thought my issue was solved. I have prided myself with being brave about this whole multiple-daily-shots predicament but when I tried to give myself the shot tonight I just about fainted. I just stared at this fishing pole of a needle and started sweating. . .

So Option B it is. Question. How do you say thank you to the neighbor you hardly know coming over each night to handle my butt? A card? Flowers? Ahh I know ..... gloves!

*I don't have an Uncle Pervis. All my uncles are stand-up men.

UPDATE: My neighbor just left. She's a pro and we even got to talk for an hour after. Who new that my hiney could build a friendship!

A Flying First

This morning Matt drove our first born to the airport and let Tobin board the aircraft all by himself. Matt said he went without hesitation. It went just as the airlines promised, Matt got to take him to the gate and when it was time to board a stewardess took his hand and became his slave for the duration of the flight. Tobin was showered with snacks and a beverage of his choice, (he choose Root Beer at 9 am, the wildman!). I was a bit nervous the night before. I mean what if he were to refuses to get on the plane last minuet? What if he gets sick on the descent? What if terrorist decide that a commuter flight from Portland to Boise is the best way to get our attention? (I've never claimed to be rational.)

Before Matt was even home, we got the call from Grandma Pam that Tobin was in Boise and "had a great flight". I talked with Tobin on the phone and his voice was beaming with bravery and self pride. He sounded older to me. Not as small as the 5 and 11/12th that he is. I think I got a little older too.

Tobin is sure to have a great week in McCall. Grandma has ice cream on the menu everyday and she is picking up a new pug puppy in Boise right now!

Proof that the drugs are working....

I cried though this whole video.



Exactly how a wedding should feel.

Maybe Baby: Loaded

I got the box I've been waiting for.

Wanna see what's inside?

Drugs.

Lots of drugs.

The cast of characters:

Birth Control Pills

Estrace (not pictured. She's really shy. And I ordered her from Costco so I forgot and left her in my medicine cabinet during the drug photo shoot.)

Leuprolide (I call him Leupron for short and Louie when we're having a really tender moment)

Progesterone Oil

A safe box for all my used needles. I'm a little offended it says "BIOHAZARD" on it. I'm clean. I swear.

And mountains of various size needles.

See this needle?

It's roughly the size of a garden hose. Thankfully it's used only to suck-up the thick Progesterone Oil and then the needle is changed to this sized needle (roughly the size of a pencil.) for insertion.

Unless of course your *ahem* husband forgets to do the swap and stabs you with the garden hose instead. Twice. (It happened almost four years ago and we are still not talking.)

Before I begin with the details of this cycle I wanted to remind all my fertile friends out there that these drugs are for a Frozen Embryo Transfer. Meaning these are drugs that just get my body ready to accept the Embryo's. If I were blogging about the first time that I did an IVF cycle where we first had to have my ovaries super ovulate and they went from the normal size of kiwis to the size of grapefruit..... well the post listing all the drugs from that cycle would surly cause global shut down of the web.

I talked with the IVF nurse and got my protocol and dates all set for this cycle and I am going to share them all with you so you can write them in your calendar and call and remind me each day on what and how much dosage I should be taking. Kay?

I started the birth control pills on June 28th and then I'll start adding one shot of 20 units of Leupron on July 13. This combination of drugs basically tells the brain to stop communicating with the reproduction organs because our goal is to create a "perfect" cycle using medication. Leupron is a subcutaneous medication that is injected. The needle is tiny and really isn't a big deal.

Unless you think you are alone in the office that you work at. (The church) and you remember that you need to give your self an injection and slide your pants to your ankles and with a needle in your hand ....... the heater repareman walks into your office. Most embarrassing moment to date.

July 20th last Birth Control Pill, continue Leupron.

July 28th OHSU appointment: Blood Draw and Ultrasound. This is to make sure my body is in full blown menopause. Oh and our full payment is due. And because I am keeping it real here. It's about $3,000. Goodbye savings. It was fun while it lasted. PS incase you are curious, a fresh IVF cycle is at the very least $12,000. I'm not going to lie that bill stung a bit. Not like a bee sting more like a shot gun round to the neck. But how can you put a price on creating a family? Ended up that Matt's grandmother passed away when we I was just a few months pregnant with Tobin. Our inherence just covered our debt. I can't think of a better way to have passed down her legacy then with her first great-grandchild. God provided.

July 29th: Continue Leupron and add one pill of Estrace daily. Estrace is now going to start building the lining of the uterus.

August 4th: Continue Leupron and add another Estrace pill daily.

August 9th: Continue Leupron and start three Estrace pills daily.

August 13: Ultra Sound (just to check the lining making sure the Estrace is working.)

August 14: Stop Leupron. Decrease Estrace pills to two daily. Start Progesterone Oil. This is when Matt comes on board. I can't reach the area it needs to be injected into. After about a week of these, I also can't sit.

August 18: The big (Projected) day of Embryo Transfer. This requires a whole post in itself. Looking forward to it?

Welcome to my druggie world for the next few months. Forgive me if I forget your birthday or your name.

PSA

In case you've ever wondered what gets ball point pen ink off walls:

rubbing alcohol and elbow grease.

This Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by,

the letters J, A, B, and E.

Maybe Baby #2: Saline Infusion Sonogram

Before I get started with the next installment of "Maybe Baby", I wanted to address something that came up in the comments of my last post. (lovely comments by the way!) I wanted to clear up a common misconception about IVF. In our culture we are hearing a lot more about couples having super twins (3 or more) babies through infertility treatments. Most people assume that these multiples are from "In-Vitro" when in-fact super twins are from a procedure called IUI or intrauterine insemination. With In-Vitro you have more control over how many embryo's are placed back into the mothers womb and can put a concerted effort into keeping your litter to twins or smaller. With IUI some women are given egg enhancing drugs and then sperm is inserted into the uterus and that's when the possibility of the woman turing into a human gum-ball machine is risky. Under the care of a quality doctor both procedures can be done responsibly and when it doesn't I have put quite a bit of blame on the medical staff for not being careful. Nadya Suleman is a perfect example of someone who had a clown for a doctor and now is raising a circus. So for me and my house, we will at the most be transferring only two at a time. So no reality show in my future.

That ain't right!

Friday I checked off the next appointment procedure for our frozen embryo transfer (FET). It's called a Saline Infusion Sonogram (SIS) or trial transfer. This is a quick appointment that involves being on antibiotics for a few days before to prevent infection during the procedure. Without going into how this is done (you can read the link if your really curious) I'll just say that the doctor is looking to see if your uterus has any abnormalities they need to take care of before involving the actual embryo's. The doctor said that my uterus looked, "beautiful". And then I blushed. My mom always said that it's better to be beautiful on the inside. Boy was she right.

Maybe Baby #1

I am going to attempt something extremely radical and dangerous on my blog. I am going to really open up and share something entirely personal and a bit controversial with the hopes of documenting a time in my life and perhaps helping someone else along the way. I am going to blog about my experience with making babies. Now for the general public I would strongly advise you to never blog about your method of baby making, but mine, well... mine is a bit more PG rated. I make my babies in a lab. That's right. White coats, microscopes, and doctors do my conceiving.

Tobin

Phoebe

Jabe

All made in a lab...... on the same day. December 3rd 2002.

Because I have Endometriosis Matt and I are unable to have *ahem* our genetic material meet in the conventional way, so after almost four years of experimenting we found that the only way for me to get pregnant was through a procedure called In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).

I had never known anyone to go through this procedure and certainly lots of opinions swirled in the Christian community about ethical questions surrounding the procedure. Matt and I have always been firm that we believe that life begins at conception. We believe that God has designed each of us with a purpose and plan and He gives us all a soul the moment we were created. Of course he also gave all of us free will and well that's where the story gets all fumbled up. Anywho, Matt and I put prayer, research, and guidance into making the decision to go forward with IVF with a few parameters to be responsible. I so wished that there was a chapter in the New Testament outlining infertility treatments but as many heartbreaking stories there are in the Bible about barren women God doesn't give us any details on how to fight barrenness in the modern world. I have to say that from the moment we started to investigate IVF, God said yes. He did that with the Christian doctors and nurses He brought to us, our church who supported us, our family who gave us the shove we needed to get started, but most of all He gave us a peace that this was the avenue we needed to travel to meet three special people: Tobin, Phoebe, and Jabe.

It was our first parenting decision to listen to God's call on us.

Without going into all the medical jargon on how IVF works just know that it takes money, needles, hormones, ultra sounds, blood draws, more hormones, stirrups, and faith.

So here I am just getting to the reason for writing this post. Try to follow me here and if you get lost, just know that it's me not you. I'm complicated. Matt and I started out with a whopping 15 embryo's in 2002. The first two were placed inside me fresh, meaning they were not frozen. Tobin and a twin that never implanted. Out of the remaining 13, five were dividing too slow and were held and watched to see if they survived to the next stage of blastocyst (120 cells). The other eight were divided up into pairs and placed in the cyro freezer until we were ready for more children. Out of the five that we were concerned with, only 2 made it to blast and they were frozen at that stage. So we were left with eight, 4-6 cell embryo's and two, 120 cells embryo's totaling ten. Please don't make me do a spread sheet.

When Tobin was 1 year old, we were ready and eager to add to our family. We got my body ready to accept the frozen tot's and found out after defrosting four embryo's that only one was viable for transfer and one was one the fence. We threw them both in. (We found that if an embryo doesn't survive the defrosting it was doomed for an early miscarriage.) None of those embryo's implanted. We were told to prepare ourselves that Tobin might have been our only miracle.

We waited to give my body time to heal and when Tobin was 2 we tried again. This time they defrosted only one vile and both embryo's looked, "perfect". Thus Jabe and Phoebe attached and grew and took all the doctors and nurses by surprise.

So now here we are, my perfect little family. Most people who don't know my story, but see my family, assume that we are done; truthfully we might be. But, we have a 4 more frozen "pieces of potential" that Matt and I are committed to see what their fate is.

Tuesday we had our consultation with our beloved Reproductive Endocrinologist about possibly adding to our family using our secret stash of humans we have in cryo freeze. Remember Jabe and Phoebe were frozen for three plus years before they found their way into my womb.
This time I was happy to be in this waiting room. But I do remember when just a few years ago those waiting room chairs held me in an uncertain time in my life. I felt broken and alone. I remember looking at the other women in the room wishing we could talk. Really talk about how sucky infertility was. I really just wished I could ask someone "what cycle day are you on?" or "I've heard nurse Jane has the best success rate at intra uterine inseminations" or perhaps, " are you, like me, worried that you just might die with this ache in your arms that cries out to hold your baby? Or is that just me?" I never did have these conversations with the other infertile women sitting in the waiting room. Instead I just pretended to read old People magazines and hope my name was called next. But today as I was sitting and waiting I had such a new peace about me. I have kids. LOTS of kids. My cup runneth over. I am completely content and yet if I have another baby my family will be even more complete. I still wanted to reach out to these other couples but what do I say? How do I start such an intimate conversation with strangers? A few thoughts crossed my mind. I could say something like, "So is it your problem or his?" or "So you want kids real bad huh? Hey I've got three! Even a set of twins! You want to look at my adorable children so you can be reminded of what you don't have?" Thankfully I choose to sip on my coffee and read an old People magazine.

Today we and our doctor came up with a plan on defrosting some of our babies in the frozen nursery. (They have been in for six years!) Our doctor gave us a 50/50 chance that we might end up with one baby. We are really ok with however this turns out. We gave up control over our family to a God many years ago and I must say He has done a marvelous job in knowing just what our family should look like and I don't doubt for a second that He has this all figured out in a perfect way. I will be updating during each step of this process so please follow along. Please leave questions you might have in the comments. I am not shy about this so ask away; I know I've left lots of wholes in our story. Blog reader will get all the updates first so please keep checking back to see if we will be becoming a family of six, or seven or more yikes!

Perspective

Last night I had a plan to finish book three of the Twilight saga. Just a few hundred pages to go and I was going to trade sleep for the completion of the Vampire/Werewolf fight. Jabe had been battling a fever and cough and I thought before I got lost in my book I should just go and check on him to make sure his Tylenol hadn't worn off.

Sure enough he was burning up. I brought him out on the couch with me while I read to make sure the medicine did it's job. I gave him some juice and let him watch a cartoon while I read. An hour later he was still burning up so I added Motrin to his drug cocktail and was confident that he would be feeling cooler soon.

Then I felt his little feet kicking my leg like he was pretending to run a marathon. I looked over at him and saw my baby having a seizure. Eyes rolling back, drooling, every muscle in his body contracting. Seconds felt like minuets as I started screaming for Matt, waking up Tobin instead. I was frighten Tobin saw his brother like that. I grabbed the phone the same time Matt woke up and told him to call 911. I tried to reassure Jabe we were here while his body looked like a demon had possessed it and gave Tobin "jobs" to do so he wasn't just starring at Jabe. Once the seizing stopped I scooped up my sweaty baby and with slurred speech he asked for his binky. I was so scarred he had brain damage and amazingly at the same time was well aware that I was not wearing a bra and my house would soon be full of firemen. I asked Tobin to get the bra that I had left conveniently in the middle of my bathroom floor with the rest of that days clothes. He must have skipped right over it and rummaged though my drawers and brought me back a white, strapless number that hasn't fit me since college (I hoard bras). I thanked Tobin and squeezed myself into it. Better than nothing.

Phoebe slept though the fire truck, ambulance, and our friend Kim (who didn't think twice to come to my house at 1 am to watch my kids). As Kim put Tobin back to bed he told her that he didn't think Jabe was going to make it. After his buddy Darian passed away a few weeks ago Tobin is very aware that death has no age boundaries.

After three hours in the ER they found that Jabe also has an ear infection and to be aware that he is now more susceptible to Febrile Seizures now that his brain has had one. No permanent damage has been done and we are all very tired and grateful for the

outcome.

When we arrived home I woke Tobin up so he could see Jabe healthy and he gave him a happy hug. This morning Tobin declared today "Jabe-Day". I was happy with that idea until I walked into my once tidy office to see that Jabe had dismantled every board game we own and then sprinkled glitter over everything.

And with that it was the conclusion of "Jabe-Day".

Little Bit of Main Street

We took our journey to Mecca this last week. Disneyland! We've been planning and saving and wishing for this trip for months and I can't even believe it's over. We made a decision to only take Tobin on this trip. The twins are still too young to really know what Disneyland is and too small to even remember a trip like this in their long term memory. (We could always photoshop them into a few pictures if they are sensitive to it later.) But even more than that we really just wanted to spend some quality time with Tobin. He's five ....... already. He doesn't give Santa or fairies any more energy to even try to believe in. He told me matter of factly that, "everyone knows that fairies became extinct with the dinosaurs." Well than. He's growing up fast and we wanted to spend a few days with him being 5. In the mean time we all became kids again, yelling on roller coasters, being thrilled on Splash Mountain, defeating Vader, eating ice cream for breakfast, and waking though Main Street until they kicked us out at midnight. We had a blast and I just think my boy started to believe in fairies again. Especially if it means they all looked like this!


A few more pictures of our magical time.

A Disney tip: When you are debating on taking a one day trip away from the park to explore other attractions and your family can't decide between Legoland or Sea World and you really want to take a break from theme parks and have always dreamed of being a dolphin trainer (never mind that I can't swim. The dolphins swim for you right? Right?) but your five year old has been corupted by all his little pre-school buddies that he just HAS to go to Legoland. Solution: take hime to the Lego STORE in Downtown Disney and tell him that it's Legoland. He bought it and we didn't spend a dime.

More to come....