If He would have given me a choice.

So if last week God would have given me a choice if he could allow Matt to leave town for a week and give me and the kids a awful flu, I would have said, "HELL NO". So I guess that's why he didn't give me one. I would have told him that I was worried enough about having Matt gone all week and that I had plans. My MOPS group on Tuesday with a lunch with Julie, my long a waited visit with my dear friend Angela on Wednesday, my Thursday outing with my pregnant cousin Jill. I HAD PLANS. Well those changed Sunday night when Tobin woke up in a tub of puke and continued to puke and dry heave every half hour. By the mornings light Tobin had two baths, three jammie changes, my hall way, entryway, and bathroom had been moped, Tobin's sheets were changed, my sheet were changed and a pile of smelly laundry had stacked up and I was exhausted!!! And folks that's just the beginning. It's one thing to take care of sick children when you are healthy but when I started puking.... I got scared. So as I lay sweating and shaking and wanting Matt to be home so bad I could have levitated him home. (He was sick too by the way) I prayed more then once, God give me strength. And of course he did. Tobin bounced into my room that morning loaded with healthy energy and demanded breakfast. ( I wished I could make him into a thoughtful eleven year old who would have seen that I was sick and quietly slipped out of the room to make his own breakfast, but there he remained a helpless selfish three year old.) So I did something that I hate doing. I ASKED FOR HELP. I called my wonderful, gracious, beautiful mother-in-law who was already busy at work. She dropped everything and arranged for Tobin to go to his pre-school all day and helped me get the twins up and brought them for me to nurse. She stayed till noon and then came back after work and took Tobin home with her for the night. So here it is Friday, Matt is home and is almost better. I'm feeling better by the minuet and Tobin is well too. The twins on the other hand are just starting diarrhea. I am praying that they don't get as sick as we all were. For those of you still reading this post let me just say that although I would have never asked for this, I have gained confidence in me as a parent this week. I am stronger then I thought I was and I am so grateful for my support team in my life. I have a deep admiration for single parents. I was blessed by my MOPS group who dropped by crackers, 7up, Jello, and Soup. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. I am also just aware again that God cares more about our character than our comfort. I am grateful for my health now more then ever. Sorry for the long post but it's been a long week. Peace

Super bowl brothers

I have been looking forward to this years super bowl for a LONG time. Not because I enjoy the game although the commercials can be fun. But for one sole reason. Matching football sweaters from Gymbroee. Gotta love a mom who forces her kids to coordinate!

Is God the sun?

Everyone always says to write this stuff down so here it goes. . .

January 28th, 2007
Driving to my mom's home in Keizer
Tobin with the sun in his eyes: "Mom the sun is looking
at me. Is God the sun?"
Me: "No, God made the sun."
Tobin: "Where does God live?"
Me: "Heaven."
Tobin: "But where did he go?"
Me: "Well, God became Jesus and came to earth where we
live."
Tobin: "We're not in earth anymore right mom?"
Me: "Hun?"
Tobin: "We're in Keizer now."

SA Meeting

Because I don't have a Sugar anonymous meeting to go to you'll have to be my accountability. I have cheated. But just a bit. Overall I give myself a B-. So I have some improvement room for next week. I have been using sweeteners in my tea and coffee but I am pretty sure that the main ingredient is cancer. Alida gave me some great tips that had me running to the cupboard for honey then squeezing it into my mouth. Honey is natural and much better for you than refined sugar but when I had to go out and buy another plastic bear full all in the name of health. . .well I think I need a new plan.

Today I was thankful for my twins. I mean it could be worse. . . I could have had triplets. I watched my sister daughter today. Mariko was born just two days after the twins. It actually went great, but I am thankful that it's not my daily duty.

Here's a few pictures to see the babies at almost seven months and a look at my resume today.

A Thank you note and a confession

First off I wanted to publicly thank my wonderful sister-in-law, Stefanie and brother-in-law Mike. Thank you so much for watching all five kids last night so Matt and I could go to the banquet. I realize that I am so relaxed about leaving my kids that I barely gave Stef any instructions and yet she just rolled with it and took care of my kids like they were hers. She fed them, changed them, and loved them. Oh I am sure Mikey helped tons too. Oh and one more thing thanks for doing my dishes too. What a treat to come home to a clean house. You guys are loved and very much appreciated.
And now onto a confession. I've known I've had a problem for a long time. As long as I can remember. So here it goes, My name is Becca and I am addicted to sugar. Whoa I feel better. My mom tells a story about how I would sneak into the sugar bowl and eat it with a spoon. Yikes, I know really sad. As soon as I put Tobin down for a nap I rummage though the cupboards like a junkie looking for a fix. So in a effort to get more healthy and loose a few pounds, I am cutting out sugar for a while. I have to take this day by day folks its got a hold on me. Wish me luck and tonight when your praying for world peace, say a prayer for me too. Detox is a bitch.

At this moment

At this moment all persons under twenty-nine are sleeping. Over the past few weeks I have worked really hard to get everyone on the same schedule. So pat me on the back because the twins are sleeping though the night IN THEIR CRIBS and napping at ten and two each day. Tobin naps from one to three so I have one hour all to my self. I can't nap (don't ask me why just can't) but I have promised myself that not a dish get washed no folding of clothes no dusting or sweeping. Only relaxation. Oh I am reading a great book right now called, Dear John by Nicholas Sparks. So far a great read.
The picture is of Phoebe watching Tobin and I play in the snow this week.

Excuse me while I gush

I've been thinking about writing this post for a long time now but I still don't have all my thoughts put together well but decided it was best to just start writing. It's most girls dreams to be singled out in the world and chosen to be someone's life companion. Wouldn't you say it's the highest compliment you could pay someone by saying, "out of everyone one else in the world I want you to build my life with." ? I got married when I was just twenty and my husband just a boy at nineteen. I certainly didn't have a genetic predisposition when it came to successful mate choosing abilities but I knew how Matt made me feel. In a word he made me feel special. And he, even as a boy, oozed integrity. Ten years later I have NEVER regretted my choice in marring Matt. He was born to be my husband. He has carried me though dark places in my life and we have laughed like dorks. We have been obsessed with addictive TV like Friends and now Lost. We worked really really hard to become parents and now work really really hard BEING parents. I could go on and on about Matt's career as a police officer but for the sake of not wondering off subject lets just say that Matt provided beautifully for our family and I am able to live my dream of staying at home raising our children. Matt makes me feel so safe and is so respectable that it's easy to be his partner. He anticipates my needs and often is found drawing me a bath or making me a latte. He has a tender heart for animals and mistreated women. He loves his children and it is evident by how plugged into their lives he is. He even asks about how diaper rashes are clearing up or how Tobin did eating his lunch. He encourages me and regularly tells me that I am a great mom and how he couldn't do what I do. The truth is I love what I do and can't imagine being happy doing what he does. I don't know how I got so lucky to meet a boy when I was six years old and date him from sixteen on and then marry him at twenty and have all my dreams come true but it did. The picture is of Matt and I getting ready for his senor prom. (a long time ago)

Deal or no deal?

I have a picky eater. Tobin sticks to a specific menu of "kid friendly" food. Most nights he doesn't eat dinner because we just fix one family meal and he has to sit at the table with us but it's up to him to choose to eat. I was a picky eater as a kid too. And my mom handled it great. Food wasn't made into a big deal. I was never forced to clean my plate but was taught to try take small portions and go back for more if I wanted it. With Tobin my approach has been to always offer veggies with meals, and to limit snacks and sweets. I offer it and let him be in control weather or not he trys new things. But after tossing pounds and pounds of vegetables away over the years, I am desperate to get him to experiment. So today for lunch I made him this proposal. . . If he tried one kernel of corn (pretty safe veggie) he could have a Hershes kiss. I thought this was a great deal and after a few minutes of pumping himself up, He did it. He ate a piece of corn. And then gobbled his chocolate to get rid of the taste. Sometimes it's amazing to me that he is growing and healthy, maybe it's the gummy bear vitamins? What to do?

Is Christmas over yet?

Yes! Although I am still cleaning from last nights gift exchange with my brother and his family, Christmas 2006 is over. My tree is dead, my garbage is full of boxes and wrapping paper, my house is fuller, my three year old is officially spoiled and my thighs are bigger. Christmas has come and gone. Here are a few pictures to enjoy. Oh and My new years resolution. . . (drum roll please). . . No more babies in 2007!

Blogless

Maybe it's because I feel pulled in a million unfinished Christmas business but none-the-less I can't form a brilliant blog entry for the life of me. So maybe a few pictures will get me though till after Christmas. Peace.

It's a Christmas miracle

It happened. I slept though the night last night! Eight hours of eyes closed, drool on the pillow sleep. Praise Jesus.

Decking the halls and hairy angels

So it's done. I've decorated the house with only the left over boxes to put back in the attic and I may still hang garland in the entry way. But even if that doesn't get done, I am happy with the results. I got a nativity scene a few years ago that makes the true meaning of Christmas come alive. (By-the-way, I can't wait to see that new movie The Nativity.) Anyway, I was looking at this manger scene and I was remembering my mothers. We always had that angel hair stuff under ours. I would imagine all these bald angels in heaven who gave up their hair to make our holiday more special. So thank you hairless angels but I am having a hair-free Christmas this year and most likely every year after. I also remember always stealing the baby Jesus out of the manger and playing with Him. What is it with little girls and little babies? So when I got mine it was important to get one with a removable Jesus. Last year I got Tobin his own. I had visions of him acting out the Christmas story each year, helping him grasp the concept of Christmas. Instead Tobin uses his like action figures fighting in a war. The Angel sliding off the manger roof tackling the donkey, taking the baby hostage. I swear this is just the male spirit coming out in him. Happy pre-holidays everyone.

Wasted Snow

All this pretty white snow is being wasted on the warm valley floor. It's so sad. I would love nothing more than scoop snowballs with Tobin this afternoon but instead, I fold socks.
Thanksgiving was wonderful. Stefanie my sister-in-law hosted a fabulous meal in her new house. Her stuffing was amazing! Then on Friday we spend the day with my grandpa at the coast with yet another full meal.
I just loved having four days with Matt home. It really is better having two parents when you have three children. How do we get Matt to retire at 30? We took the whole family out on Saturday to get our tree. I was so proud that we were right on track with the holiday festivities but low and behold our tree sits naked in the living room. Maybe tonight while Matt watches the Bachelor. (no, I'm not kidding).
Speaking of Matt I have to tell you that we had the best date last night, great food and engaging conversation. I woke up to little love notes scattered around the house. Even one taped to the milk jug. He is truly wonderful. I sure knew what I was doing when I picked him to be my boyfriend at 16. I really should do an Ode to Matt one of these days.
Well back to matching socks. If your reading this Matt, I am still madly in love with you, thanks for my notes and for Tobins too. Three hours till you get home!

Ode to Jabe Michael Green

I fell in love with your name before we even knew you would exist. It’s as if the name placed you in my heart and I willed you here. I am always looking for names that are different, easy to say and remember and hold great meaning. Your name came while I was watching this shameful reality show called, “Who wants to be a Hilton” Their was a cast member with the name Jabe and he was cute and friendly and I just loved the way it sounded. Next I searched the web to find its meaning. I realized it was short for Jabez and that the meaning was, Born of my labor; Survivor. Because of all we did you get you and for being frozen for three years, I knew if I were to ever have another son his name would be Jabe. Michael Green is your grandpa’s given name. Besides the fact we have just be reunited with the Green side of the family, your grandpa has been a tremendous blessing to me. He has cherished me as his own daughter and made me feel as if the world was lucky to have me. For that and many other things I gave you his name. You are beautiful my son. You have a wide jaw like your dad and my fair skin. Your grin goes for miles and I just know that you will break many hearts one day. You are so strong. Just because we brought you home from the hospital at four pounds don’t think for a second we thought you were weak. You show your strength by wanting to stand always and now being the first to roll over (and over and over) You love to eat but get frustrated when the milk isn’t poring into your mouth. I have to be careful not to let you get too hungry or it’s hard to calm you down. At your four month appointment you weighed 13 lbs and were 23 inches long. You rolled over for the first time in front of the doctor. He was happy to be a witness. Your favorite place to be is your swing and that is where you have slept though the night at times. I know I will love raising you as I have your brother. I pray over you wisdom, purity, safety and a love of God that sets your path in motion.

Ode to Phoebe Claire

My little sweet girl you had your four month appointment today. (10/31)It made me think of when Dad and I were finding out weather you were a boy or girl during our twenty week ultra sound. You were baby A and you were so shy we couldn't get a look at what you was so we sadly moved to baby B (Jabe). After we looked at Jabe we moved back to Baby A and low and behold we could see baby A was a girl. I was so excited my body responded by shaking. Matt and I had only decided on a boy name and a girl name so we knew you were Phoebe Claire. We named you Phoebe mostly because we thought it was an adorable name but also because its meaning is wisdom. And we knew that in this day in age a little girl needs tons of insight and good decision making skills. Claire is after your dad's grandpa Clarence. He was such a special man to your dad and we are so sad he died beforebecomingg a great grandpa. You would have brought great joy to him. At one of my ultra sounds you got really close to the screen and looked right at me and you took my breath away because I could tell you were beautiful. I have had so much fun buying pink clothes with smocking and peter pan collars. You were the first twin born and when I heard your sweet cry, I cried. You were smaller then expected weighing five pounds 10 ounces. One of the fist things I noticed about you was your swirl of hair right in the middle of your forehead. Although it is adorable now I just knew you'd hate it when you get older. I smiled every time we introduce you to people and they say you look like me. I didnÂ’t realize how fun that would be. Maybe because the boys look so much like your dad it felt fun to pay homage to my side of the family. You have always been a great nurser and found comfort being held. WeÂ’ve nicknamed you smooshie because you just melt into us when we hold you. You have a killer smile and love sucking your thumb. You love to sleep and wake up with a smile each morning. At your appointment today you weighed 13.3 pounds and were 24 ¼ inches long. You are just starting to hold onto toys and love your aquarium bouncer seat.
I find myself daydreaming of what fun we'll have raising you. The tea parties and princess dress up. The crushes on boy bands and girlfriend sleepovers are all sure to come. Or maybe you'll love climbing trees and building forts with your brothers. Maybe you'll love reading Anne of Green Gables with me or Little House on the Prairie. And maybe one day we can take a girl trip to visit Prince Edward Island. I know that as mother and daughter we will have our challenges but hopefully we'll learn from each other and maybe after I am done parenting you we can move our relationship to a friendship. I love you my daughter.

For my kids

Over the next few days expect some sappy entries about my children. They are growing up so fast.

Ode to Tobin Cooper

My first baby. Oh how we prayed for you. You were God saying, “My gosh people, I’ve heard you! Now just so you know I wanted this one to be absolutely perfect so it took extra time. So here is your baby. I expect it to be a lot quieter around here now.” When I found out you were on the way you gave mommy her biggest thrill. You have been my biggest teacher in this life. You have taught me unconditional love and true patience. You have also helped me to understand my relationship with God. Now I can sort of understand his love and compassion for His children. I also have learned that this life is not about me. . . It’s not about you either. It’s about our relationships with each other and more specifically our relationship with our creator. For theses lessons I thank you Tobin. Your name is so special to me. It’s from the Hebrew name Tobias and means, God is good. That was my theme though my journey to become a mother; life is hard but God is good. I hope you discover that sooner than later during your life.
You are such a sweet, sweet boy. You already are compassionate towards others and you are considerate of others feelings. Although you are still a normal preschooler discovering your boundaries, I can see in you this great humanity. You have a great relationship with your father and for that I am truly jealous in a wonderful way. I prayed for you and your dad to have a bond like no other and when the two of you say, “you’re my best friend” to each other every morning . . . I melt. Although this is cute and endearing I do hope that before you consider us friends you think of us as your parents the ones God gave you to protect you, love you, teach you and be models for you. Although we are not perfect know that we serve a perfect God and when you do need a more human perspective your earthly father will be a wonderful resource for you to follow. At three years old you have given me more fullness than I knew possible. May you discover God’s plan for you at a young age and choose to follow it to its fullest. May you be protected from this corrupted world and live a blessed life.

Hoilday stress

Ok somehow I just deleted my brilliant blog entry. @#$!%##!! So (deep breath) here I go again. I should be doing dishes or laundry or toilets or some other task that will just need to be repeated tomorrow but for now I blog. We are sick of being sick around here. Jabe is the last of the month long illness around here. So things are looking up. The babies are still taking turns sleeping though the night and I have yet to enjoy a full night but have hope that it will be soon.
I am getting overwhelmed thinking that the holidays are among us. Matt is so good about picking up my slack around the house but when it comes to buying gift, wrapping presents, sending out the Christmas cards and decorating our house. . . If I don't do it won't get done. So how can I simplify? Well because I just sent out the babies announcement, no Christmas cards this year. I think I need to find that great family gift out there and repeat it twenty times to save time and brain power. But as far as decorating I will need to go all out this year. Tobin is at the age were Christmas is magical and I want our house to reflect that. Not to mention the twins are non-destructive this year and the next few years after this I'll have to block off the tree with the couch. And I like to decorate.
Well hope you enjoyed the random thoughts of today. Oh and the picture is of Jabe and Phoebe as frogs for Halloween.

Behold. . .

The wonderful, magical, spectacular miracle of sleep. Two nights ago Phoebe slept though the night in the bouncy chair and last night Jabe did the same. I still haven't mind you, but this gives me hope. My kids are not dummies. Who wouldn't want to sleep in a vibrating papasan chair? Now I need to find one that I can fit into.

Halloween Manors

Last year was Tobins first Trick or Treating experience. I will never forget the first house we hit. Tobin had just turned two and we had be working hard on our manors. Walking up the steps we coached Tobin to say, "Trick or Treat". He did and his eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw the bowl of candy. He took a sucker and then we said, "Tobin, what do you say?" Tobin says sharply, "MORE!". We nervously laugh and say, "No Tobin that enough. Now what do you say. . . " Tobin thinks, shoves the sucker into the mans face and says, "OPEN IT!"
Well so much for the well mannered two year old.
Hope you enjoy pictures of this years celebrations.